I just wanted to say thank you so much for supporting me for my trip to Chicago with Campus Crusade for Christ. God has shown me so much this summer, even before I got to Chicago. I am going to tell you a little bit about what I have experienced this summer, some of which happened even before I got to Chicago. The support raising process was so stressful to me, mainly because I wasn’t secure in the fact that if this was where God wanted me this summer, this is where I would be. I felt like I did not have enough contacts to send letters out to in order to raise enough. In two months I has raided only about $400. But in the last couple of weeks before coming to project, I raised over $1000 dollars. People who I hardly knew were helping me find contacts, and it was so weird to see people who I had never met in real life supporting me in huge ways of over $300 and $500, and even the people I didn’t know who gave me $10, $20, and $50. God made a way for me to be here despite finical circumstances. For so many people to help a stranger, I knew it was entirely God working through you all to bring me here, and I sincerely thank you all for that. After I got to Chicago, so much has happened. This was defiantly a summer I wound not forget. Since I am in Crossroads, working in an office as a writer from 9-5 four days of the week was part of it, but in addition to that I learned so much from other project activities outside of Crossroads. In the office, I worked as a writer. One of my main task was writing articles for Imagine Your impact, Cru’s operations website and facebook page. I interview students on project about what its like to use the skills you learn for your major through Campus Cruised, and interviewed staff from places like France who work in operations. I also worked on INDYCC, including help with making a music video, advertisements, and a website to promote the conference. I think I learned a lot about the importance of timeliness and dedication (to go to work even if you are tired, and try to be there on time), working as a team, and learned a little more about writing from my pears who were also writers or journalism majors. On project we are also part of a bible study, we have weekly meetings, we have a campus day each week where we learn how to share our faith on campus, we have outreach days through the city, we have a ‘Job’ on project to keep project running smoothly. My job was part of the final banquet team, and more specifically I have to create a video showcasing our campus outreach days. I am going to tell you about a few of my favorite memories on project, and about what God has been revealing to me through my time in Chicago. One day about seven of us teamed up with a group called Chicago’s Beloved that ministers to the homeless. We walked around the city, passed out food and invited them to a bible study. It was so cool for me to see how Chicago’s Beloved spends every Saturday from about 3-9 at night ministering to the homeless, first with food, then with ta bible study, then with taking them to a soup kitchen. The entire group consisted of high school and college students, with no adults over them, who just decided that this was how they wanted to spend every Saturday of there summer. They knew each person by name and knew about their life. To be in a bible study mixed with college students and homeless people was so beautiful. I realized that’s something of what heaven would look like. Everything people use to divide themselves with would be gone, and faith would unite us all. I am so blessed to see how Chicago’s Beloved is brining a little bit of heaven to the city, and that I was able to be a part of what God was doing in Chicago. Campus days and outreach day was interesting. I was nervous about sharing my faith before going. During campus time, I got to see a 15-year-old boy accept Christ after we explained the gospel to him. It affirmed to me that what we are doing is purposeful and that God actually is using us. Still, when a student came up with the ideal of a ‘confessional’ cardboard testimonies outreach I was not excited. I didn’t want to hold a cardboard that said something personal about my life on it. But through it, I got to share the gospel with someone who had never heard about it before. It taught me a lot about trusting God even when I feel uncomfortable or unsure. The cool thing is that when we were sharing the gospel on separate occasions the person we were sharing with said ‘I feel something weird right now’ or ‘I feel something in my stomach.’ It was cool to witness people feeling Gods call. It also surprised me how many people have never heard the basic message of the gospel. I always thought most people already knew but just choose to not believe it. But so many people thought that Christianity was trying to do good things to get into heaven. The ideal that God created us in his image to be in fellowship with him, but we chose to go our own way and live for ourselves insted of God, but God sent his son to pay for our sins so that fellowship with him could be restored if we choose to accept his sacrifice was new to most people we shared with. It’s not about how good we are or what we do. God looks at our hearts and sees if we have any idols (money, popularity, our own self-will) that we put above God. 1 Corinthians 13 says that “If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a tinkling symbol. And if I have prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And if I dole out all my goods, and if I deliver my body that I may boast but have not love, nothing I am profited.” Ever person on this earth is equal in Gods eyes, and the beautiful thing about Jesus is that he paid for all of our past, present, and future sins. He sees our hearts and not our actions, and he ask us to put God in the center of your heart by accepting Christ. During campus days and outreaches, it surprised me that so many people had never heard this before. One of my favorite memories was the day when most of project went to see Toy Story 3, and about seven of us stayed behind and went to this hill that overlooked the skyline of the whole city. We started singing worships songs and praying over the whole city. We asked these guys who were sitting on the hill drinking to take our picture, and they asked us why we were here. We got to tell them about what we believed, and even though it didn’t seem like there were listing, one followed us some of the way back and told us about his life, his family and parents, his finical situation. He said that all his friends ever wanted to do was to get drunk but he did it because it was better than not having anyone to hang out with. He said he went to a catholic school but he’s not sure if he believes in God. He said that he had never heard anyone talk about God the way we did before. It cool to see that even though we were just in Chicago for a short time God was able to use us to reach out to people in the city, even in small spontaneous ways, to show His love to everyone. Personally, God has shown me a lot on project. I have laughed here and I have cried here. He has taught me how easy and important it is to share my faith. This dose not just mean looking for people to talk about spirituality with. People should see the fact that I believe in God in my life and actions. God has shown me His love through community. Most of all, God has shown me that I need to trust him in all arias of my life and find my full significance in Him, apart from what I do and apart from what others think of me, who doesn’t like me, how well I do on a test, or anything else. Things like that doesn’t matter. I am because He is. To understand the fact that my entire worth is in Him is what God is challenging me to do. It’s so easy to see Gods beauty in everyone and everything around you but never see it in yourself. I am so glad that God has started to reveal these things to me this summer so I can continue growing in Him as I go back to school and for the rest of my life. I am going to miss all the students, staff, and the people at Calvary Memorial Church who made us feel so at home in Chicago. Once again, thank you so much for helping me be a part of this. In love, Keshia Smith
So after me being wayy nervous for outreach day i got to share the gospel one on one with someone for the first time. It was so cool to e even though I didn’t want to be there and didn’t want to be vulnerable with strangers god still used me. It was like I wsen’t even talking… when I try to talk I get nervous and tounge tied. It was totally His spirit and I felt it so strong. Verse of the day: Do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say to them, for what you say will be given in the hour. For it is not you who speaks, but the spirit of the Father speaking through you. Matthew 10:15
The gorgeous girl in pink is Michelle. Michelle is awesome. I’m so blessed to have her as a roommate for my time in Chicago.
I was having a moment last night and being my over-emotional INFP self, and she just spoke words of wisdom to me. Have you ever been upset without knowing why you were upset? Well thats how I was last night. It was small things that brought it up (a game of ping-pong that I lost, walking slower that other people to work, getting tired easier than others, lousing at a board game, not being good at Volleyball, not being able to do a cartwheel, ect…) but I guess I was just feeling inadequate or like I could’t do anything right or as good as others. Like, I feel like classes at school are harder for me than for others, and like I don’t have a talent, and it was just all of this negative stuff running through my mind. And Michelle. She is so wonderful. I’m sad that she lives all the way in Nebraska. I woke up this morning to a note that she had pushed under my door reminding me of what I am and what I’m not and who Christ is and what that makes me. So basically, I need to stop comparing the way I feel on the inside to the way others seem on the outside and remember to find my identify in Him who is everything good.
What I’m not, He is. He is the vine, I am the branch, and apart from him I am nothing.
I’ve been journaling on paper. I like the feeling of holding a pencil while i write, and it all being in one book, and being able to just pick up up and read it. If Computers ever replace books it will be a very sad day for me.
Summer project has been going good. It’s so weird, be we are so busy all of the time here. From the time wake up to the time i go to sleep I am at work or at a meeting or just always doing something, its hard to find time to be with God. But I see bits ad peaces of God in all of the people here, but I also see bits and peaces of all of our sinful nature. Like… when people share testimonies I can see a bit of the person they use to be in the person they are now. It reminds me that will ill not be fully redeemed until heaven, and reminds me of Gods grace and love. I feel like I am sometimes to focused on improving. How can I love God better and people better and be a better Christen and learn more and know more and be completly free of all the limitations and bad parts of my flesh. And sometimes I try to do all of this apart from God. So last night I realized that I needed God to be a part of my search for God, so I decided to wake up early (and I am not a morning person so I hate waking up early) to read the word. And God brought me to John 15.
It says “ I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
Apart from me you can do nothing. Apart from me you can do nothing. It hit me. I was too focused on me and not Him, and what I can do and can’t do and what i know and don’t know. I am too focused on who i am (or who I am not and becoming the person I think God wants me to be) that I forget what He already is.
I am made perfect in Him for what I am not, He is. I have no reason to feel insignificant about my failures because He is all and he uses our weaknesses to remind of to be reliant on him.
He is the Vine, I am the branch, and apart from Him I am nothing.
Today my friend Roberta and I lead a 15 year old boy to Christ. He was sitting by himself so we decided to talk to him. He told us about his life and family. It’s amazing because I have been hearing people talk about how through sharing the gospel people have come to christ but I had never seen it happen personally, so it was so nice of God to encourage us in that way and let us see someone come to Christ and remember why we are hear (on project, on earth) in the first place: to spread Gods love to all nations (including our own). Staff leaves halfway through project so today was my last day with my awesome decipher Kaiti Lahood. I definitely want to find a decipher once I get back to Ball State, she has such good insight on me. She wrote we a strengths and areas to develop chart today, and we talked. I love the community here, and my lovely roomates, and my bible study group. I’m sad that the staff are leaving but excited to see how project will be once we fully take over.
We toured a graphic design firm and talked to a guy working about what it’s like to be a Christen in a secular workplace.
We went to H&M and Urban Outfitters (I bought nothing… saving my non-existent money), and to some fancy art supply store that my roommate Michelle, who is a design major, was excited about.
We just got back from watching Eclipse (Don’t judge me)
But can I tell you a story about the best part of today? Me and my roommate Michelle went to the store and on the way there was this homeless man on the street. We walked past him and thought about how everyone was just walking past this man as if It didn’t even bother them that he was out here hungry. So when we got to the store, we decided to buy him some food and bring it to him. But when we tried find him again we saw these police officers making him move. They even kind of… followed him around with sticks to make sure he was leaving. So me and my roomate… we kinda stalked him around the city, caught up with him when the policemen stoped following him, and gave him the food.
I asked him what his name was. He seemed a little confused to why we were doing what we were doing, and he seemed really mad at the police because he wasn’t really doing anything wrong. I see to many people walk past the homeless… don’t the police realize that this guy has a name and a story? That he is no less than they are and they are no more than he is?
“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the worlds goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes heart against him, how dose Gods love abide in him? Little Children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and truth”- 1 John2:18
